Monday, July 23, 2018

Ode to the Preterist

I once heard a preterist defend his view,
          He claimed events in Revelation were past,
All the prophecy had been fulfilled, it’s true,
          Twas of little worth for those days that are last.

When asked to explain his interpretation,
          He referred to Matthew chapter 24.
For all those events in that generation
          Had to be accomplished, all finished for sure.

So, I asked, when did the Son of Man return
          For that is what Jesus said in that chapter.
The preterist did not bat an eye but turned
          “Why, that was Titus the Roman conqueror.”

Staring at him, I was confused and amazed.
          “Do you truly believe Titus was that man?”
“Sure, that is all the Lord meant.” I stood there dazed!  
          “He attacked Jerusalem and the Jews ran.”

I did my best to restrain my emotions,
          But soon knew that I wasn’t up to the task.
My eyes swelled up, my mouth began its motions,
          In laughter and this foolishness, I would bask.

“Laugh if you will,” he exclaimed, “but I am right”,
          “I have all the proof I need here in my hand.”
And when I looked I saw a book he held tight,
          “Sproul agrees with me; great is he in the land.”

My laughter did not cease, oh no, it did not.
          It only increased with this revealing news.
I simply dropped to my knees right on the spot,
          Dying from laughter over his end time views.